Sunglasses UNDERGROUND?

Yes, it's bright and sunny outside. Lovely. But on the tube, ie UNDERGROUND, it is not bright. Or sunny. Therefore you do NOT need to wear your sunglasses. Put them on your head. Or in your bag. Or in a pocket. Anywhere. Just fricking take them OFF.

London School Of Fashion FAIL

Every morning I walk to work past the London School of Fashion (& Textiles) on Charing Cross Road and see the students filing in with folios full of hexagonal hats, reverse shoes and the like. Who knows what their designs are like but they certainly dress the part. My eye-rolling skills are now so well honed they can do somersaults. From now on I shall document the spatter formation of this sartorial spew:

Today:
Lady in:

• Roy Chubby Brown-style flying hat
• Clear plastic mac with spraypaint 'design'
• Lime green socks
• Platform wedge sandals

London School Of Fashion FAIL

Every morning I walk to work past the London School of Fashion (& Textiles) on Charing Cross Road and see the students filing in with folios full of hexagonal hats, reverse shoes and the like. Who knows what their designs are like but they certainly dress the part. My eye-rolling skills are now so well honed they can do somersaults. From now on I shall document the spatter formation of this sartorial spew:

Today:
Lady in:

• Roy Chubby Brown-style flying hat
• Clear plastic mac with spraypaint 'design'
• Lime green socks
• Platform wedge sandals

Death by umbrella

If you're carrying a massive closed umbrella under your arm in a busy tube station/on the escalator/on the street, is it too much to ask that you don't hold it horizontally - thus stabbing repeatedly anyone who might be walking behind you?

Perhaps it's a ploy to keep everyone at least three feet away from you, but in our craply laid-out city, there just isn't enough room for that personal space - especially at rush hour.

It's made worse if you swing your arm back and forth whilst holding the offending weapon thrust out behind you. Just use it like a walking stick like all normal people. Or get a smaller umbrella and put it in your man-bag. (Yes, it is usually men who are the offenders)

Sweat-look leggings

Wet-look leggings are questionable at the best of times, but if it's over 15 degrees can I just recommend that you don't even consider putting them on.

Hot, sweaty legs + synthetic material = just gross

Socks and flip-flops - REALLY?

Look - it's either too hot for socks, or too cold for flip-flops. THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND HERE.

Plus it just looks silly and must be nigh-on impossible to walk around.

The whole point of a sock is to cover your foot and keep it away from the outside air.

The whole point of a flip-flop is to allow the air to circulate freely around your foot.

Ergo, they do not go together. JUST STOP IT.